Fieldnotes: Saying Goodbye to Unsocial Media

For a long time, I kept telling myself that social media was giving me something.

I thought I would be missing out on connection if I walked away.

Connection. Inspiration. Entertainment. A way to keep up. A way to not miss out.

But it took more than it gave.

It was not real connection.

It was either performance or surveillance.

And people did not respect a different point of view. They took it personally and weaponized it against me. That is not freedom. That is just bullying.

People pulling for attention. People showing the best parts. People trying to be seen, admired, envied, validated, reassured, or simply keeping an eye on each other without really caring.

And I was there too, hoping it would feel more meaningful than it did.

It took my attention. It took my peace. It took my time. It took my nervous system and kept it activated with noise, outrage, comparison, politics, advertising, pressure, and endless opinions.

I despise the algorithms.

They are designed to keep people reactive, distracted, comparing, consuming, and emotionally activated. They reward outrage, fear, vanity, insecurity, conflict, and performance because those things keep people engaged.

I do not want to live inside something that benefits from making people feel worse.

It became a habit I did not even enjoy.

I would open an app without meaning to. Scroll without wanting to. Leave feeling worse than when I started.

Too much of it felt like being surrounded by people talking all at once.

Someone was angry. Someone was showing off. Someone was selling something. Someone was posting only the best part of their life. Someone was telling me what I should fear, buy, think, eat, wear, or worry about.

And little by little, I realized I was carrying around a low hum of agitation all the time.

The truth is, my real life is much quieter and much more beautiful than what was happening on a screen.

My real life is coffee on the porch. A walk with the dog. The sound of wind through the trees. My garden. A good book. A guitar in my lap. A cozy dinner. Helping my children with their futures. Working on art. Writing. Sitting in the gazebo while the day winds down.

That is my life.

Not the algorithm. Not the scrolling. Not the endless stream of strangers.

I realized I was not losing anything by stepping away.

I was becoming free of it.

Free of the comparison. Free of the pressure to present myself. Free of the feeling that I should always be available, visible, updated, and watching. Free of the low-level noise.

I do yearn for real connection.

But I cannot do superficial or artificial very well.

Something in me pushes back against it.

I want conversations that are honest. I want people who are present. I want connection that feels real, mutual, and alive.

I do not want to spend my life absorbing everyone else's thoughts while losing touch with my own.

I want more room for stillness. More room for real conversations. More room for art, books, flowers, walks, cooking, music, and rest. More room for my own spirit.

Maybe social media helps some people. Maybe some people can use it lightly and walk away unaffected.

But for me, after years of trying to make it feel better, I finally accepted something simple:

It takes more than it gives.

So this is me saying goodbye to social media.

I am letting it go.

Not dramatically. Not angrily.

Just quietly.

Like opening a window. Like cleaning out a cluttered room. Like stepping outside after too much time indoors.

And already, I can feel the relief. And sadness. And grief.

It didn’t work for me.

Now a softer, quieter life is waiting for me.