Open Letter to the Universe Regarding Account Review
Dear Universe,
I am writing to request a formal review of my account and respectfully ask for a favorable and prompt response.
After careful examination of the record, I would like to note that Character has been built.
Growth has occurred.
Lessons have been learned.
Resilience has been demonstrated repeatedly and, at times, excessively.
I have completed coursework in Adversity, Disappointment, Reinvention, Family Dynamics, Financial Challenges, and Unexpected Life Events. Additional certifications include Adaptation, Survival, and Making Something Out of Almost Nothing.
At this time, I believe I have fulfilled all continuing education requirements.
While I appreciate the educational opportunities provided, I must respectfully decline enrollment in any future courses titled:
Advanced Character Building
Unexpected Challenges VIII
Growth Through Suffering
Surprise Plot Twists
Everything Happens for a Reason
The Lesson Will Become Clear Later
The record should reflect that several previous assignments were completed under difficult conditions and may qualify for review, adjustment, or refund.
Moving forward, I am accepting applications for the following:
Improved income
Reduced debt
Reliable transportation
Continued success and happiness for my children
Meaningful friendships
Good health
Creative opportunities
Pleasant surprises
Occasional delight
Unexpected checks in the mail
Cash is acceptable.
Store credit is not.
Please note that while life has often been crusty and crunchy, I am interested in exploring alternative textures.
Smooth would be nice.
Abundant has potential.
Easy deserves consideration.
I am not requesting perfection.
I am requesting a better ratio.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. I appreciate your prompt review and look forward to a favorable resolution.
Sincerely,
Dawn
PHD
(Previously Handled Difficulty)
M.A.
(Master of Adaptation)
Certified in Crunch Management and Crust Removal
