Fashion is a source of enjoyment within the limits of my life right now. My vintage boutique job is a fun diversion. I’m aware. I got a master’s to be employable in the publishing world, preferably at a magazine. I did work in publishing for a while—not where or at what I wanted or was interested in, and with competing demands, apparently. Well, I’ll button up on that. It didn’t last. And I let it fall away. C’est la vie.
But vintage fashion gives me a place to enjoy clothes, explore creative aesthetics, notice beautiful details, and bring things together.
Being creative lets me feel more alive and less like I’m being oppressed or having the rug pulled out from under me, which is what the ’90s through the 2020s have felt like. ONE BIG RUG AFTER ANOTHER. Yank. Yank. Yank.
So sometimes, I need to feel grounded and guarded. Sometimes fashion connects me to my family’s past, even while I’m estranged from it. My mother is long gone. There were grandparents I never knew. I wear a necklace and matching clip-on earrings that may have belonged to my grandmother, then my mother. The translucent lime-yellow beads almost glow. They remind me of Atomic Age jewelry. Suggesting uranium. Their exact history is uncertain, but here they are, accompanying me on my shopping trip.
I have realized I appreciate damaged things, worn things, faded things, overlooked things. I like an old sequined jacket getting its moment. Someone made it. Someone wore it. Now there’s another night out available to it.
I love thrifted items paired with finer things. A sarcastic cat T-shirt with chunky Monet jewelry. Levi’s and orange slides with family beads. A discounted find alongside something kept for decades. Older and out of fashion suits me just fine.
For me, fashion is expression, creativity, connection. It’s also fun—and something I can do affordably.
My life is limited right now. So much hasn’t worked out, no matter how much work I put into it. I’ve let go of some of that pushing. There’s still pleasure in the thrifted finds and discounted racks, in seeing what might work together, in giving something overlooked a moment.
That old sequined jacket has somewhere to go. So do I.
